Hindsight is 20/20
It is often said that Hindsight is 20/20. To many, that common saying makes no sense, until you’ve lived life for a certain period of time. Well I’ve lived through a few decades of life, and today I can testify to the truth of this saying. Let me tell you a story…
“Why did you choose me?”
One day, a few years ago, in the middle of a conversation, out of the blue, my new mentor asked me, out of all of the people I could have chosen as a mentor (or life coach)…why did I choose him? If I were you, I’d be thinking, “Why would he ask him this? I mean, after all, he’s a life coach…he’s getting paid for his services. Why should he care?” Well, My mentor/Life Coach is just not a life coach. He’s a very special human being. He’s a little famous. He is known in certain circles. To be pretty straight forward, my mentor was a Pimp. And not only was he a Pimp, He was considered a master in that realm. Today he is an author, lecturer, life coach an activist and a husband (of over 20 years). There were others like him who left the lifestyle, and had become speakers, authors, life coaches, etc. And out of the legendary men from that world like Rosebudd, Pimpin’ Ken and others, he asked me, “Why did you choose me?” Later on, I would realize (from later teachings) there was another reason why he asked me this question…but that’s for a later conversation.
I wasn’t expecting that question, so I really had to produce an answer on the fly. As I started to speak, I found myself restarting my story over at least three times, going back further and further in my life until I found my story starting all the way back to a certain part of my childhood. I went all the back to age thirteen. It just made sense to go all the way back.
And as I rounded up the story of finally deciding to meet him (after finally being told by a a minister that I needed a mentor), it became crystal clear to me…that the journey of my life, was all meant to happen. In other words hindsight is 20/20. Everything was meant to happen the way that it was supposed to happen. No matter how horrible the experiences that I suffered, the mockery and insults, everything…it was all meant to happen.
Spiritually and the streets
The Virdo Society is a school that teaches on the lost arts and sciences of manhood. The main foundation of the teachings of the Virdo Society comes from two major sources-
- Spirituality
- The Streets
And let me be clear, I’ve never participated in any street activity, but I was raised in certain environments where I’ve seen things. Furthermore, I’ve come into contact with several elders who were involved in different aspects of the street life in their youth. The rest of the knowledge that I accumulated came from knowledge that I have been exposed to, life experiences, and just pure inspiration from the Creator.
Now if I were you, I’d wonder how can spirituality and the streets be mentioned in the same sentence? Well, you’d have to understand the circumstances that molded me into the person that I have become. And again, in retrospect, I see that everything happened by design. Hindsight is 20/20. Because, If I didn’t go through what I went through, my mind wouldn’t have been molded in the way that was necessary for me to fulfill my mission in life.
Trust Issues…
If you’ve studied the science of the mind, you’d know that once the mind is magnetized with a single idea (like a mission), the creation that we live in will begin to bring circumstances, books, ideas and people into your life to help you fulfill that idea. But the key is that you have to be aware of this, otherwise you will let things pass you by, that was meant to help you. People will have conversations in your presence, and unknowingly say things to you (or to another person) that will solve an issue that they have no idea that you’re dealing with as well. All you have to do is have your “spiritual eyes” and “spiritual ears “ open to receive the message.
Well, a few years ago, a beautiful lady I was dating, gave me a Christian life coach book as a gift. When I read the first page, because my spiritual eyes and ears were open, I knew why that book came into my life.
The author basically said that:
Many of us have experienced horrible things in our childhood and have buried these things away in our minds because the memories of those experiences were so painful. But we must face these horrible things because these circumstances were placed in our lives to prepare us for what we were born to do. Furthermore, many times, our Life Mission is buried in that pain.
That hit home for me. Because I did just that…I buried the past. I buried my past because it was painful. I buried the past because it was depressing to think about. Little did I know that I’d have to revisit the past to understand my mission on a deeper level.
Because of those painful experiences that I experienced as a child, I lost trust in everyone. By the way, here’s a jewel:
A normal child, looks at his parents as protectors. They take your words as truth…and they expect you to believe them if they come to you with an issue of verbal abuse or physical abuse. When you fail to not protect them or believe in their words, you destroy their ability to trust anything and their future ability to trust the people in their lives.
They eventually learn to depend on themselves…to survive. They become cold and thick skinned. They’ve been hurt and sometimes destroyed…so you really can’t hurt them.
Well, because I lost trust in all things, I had a hard time trusting everyone and everything… even school. Why? Because I had a hard time trusting any information from anyone, unless…I was able to look into the material world and see that theory being applied or played out in real life.
Well, after I read the first page of that book, I then realized that the crafting of my mind due to my horrible experiences, was all in preparation for my life work!
The Journey that led me into this study
My Introduction into a new world…
I came back to live with my mother the summer before I entered into the 8th grade. This would be a very educational moment in my life. At my uncle and aunt’s house, I lived in a multiracial middle class neighborhood. Besides the issues I suffered in the household, I had a wonderful exposer to different families and cultures.
My mom on the other hand always lived in bad neighborhoods. By living in these areas, I would be exposed to a lot of things I’ve never seen before. Unbeknownst to my mother, I would be exposed to guns, drugs, violence and prostitution.
Prostitutes were everywhere on Biscayne boulevard. As soon as you left downtown and proceeded north towards 79th street, all you saw were prostitutes. I saw white, black, Asian, Latin and all other races of women. And prostitutes even lingered from 79th street (and Biscayne boulevard), going all the way west to second avenue (and maybe even farther out).
As a 13 year old, I saw them 7 days a week at all times times of the day. I even saw them on Sundays in the middle of the day. They were everywhere. I remember when I was about age 16, sitting at a light one evening, and getting flashed by a prostitute. I guess she wanted to showcase what she was selling. And another time, on a Sunday, while walking up Biscayne boulevard with a friend of mine, a prostitute offered to perform fellatio on me and my friend for a price. This is what I saw from age 13 to 18. They looked dirty to me and of course they were promiscuous. I just had a negative view of these working girls.
What’s in this Lifestyle?…
At the age of 18, I graduated and went off to college in Washington, D.C. . My life dramatically changed in my first two years after moving to this new city. In my first two years, I came to the realization of two things:
- I came to the realization that I really didn’t understand what manhood was.
- What I thought I understood of the game (Pimping), was completely wrong.
Being a new Muslim at the age of 18, and moving to a new city, I came into a spiritual house that was full of adult men. Being that I wasn’t really raised around an adult male, it became quite apparent that I was completely ignorant on the ways of manhood. As a matter of fact, because of my ignorance, it got me into a lot of issues with men…because I was a kid talking to grown men. And to be quite honest, if there wasn’t any rules about assaulting each other, I should have gotten open hand slapped a couple of times for coming out of my mouth in a disrespectful manner to other men.
Another thing I noticed, was that the one or two guys that helped husbands with their wives had a commonality between them. What was that commonality? They knew how to deal with women because before they cleaned their lives up, they had dabbled in pimping when they were younger. No matter how tough or difficult a wife was…they knew how to talk to them to solve the marital problems. The women would melt like butter (they weren’t tough anymore). These guys knew how to deal with the most difficult of women. After I realized the common denominator between them, I really began to wonder, what was it about this lifestyle that made them so successful with women.
Love and Marriage…
A few years later I found myself in love and married. And along with this marriage came a lot of good times…but a lot of bad times also. Looking at myself, I now see that because I was ignorant on what manhood was and what being a husband was, brought a lot of issues on my part. We both had difficulties in our positions as husband and wife due to our lack of seeing good examples of this as children. I would eventually come across my future mentor’s interview that would forever change my life. But before I came across my mentor’s work, I was given other books to read on the lifestyle, from some of the elders that I met in passing. These books were powerful. They removed a lot of my insecurities.
After seeing the brothers who had been in the lifestyle before they cleaned their lives up, deal with the most difficult of women in the mosque, and then being advised by many elders to study specific books on the lifestyle, I decided to study the lifestyle to extract what I could from that lifestyle so that I could be more successful in my life. Especially, when it came to women, because it was quite obvious to me that I didn’t know what I was doing in my life when it came to women (i.e. my wife). So from that day forward, I decided to study that world and synthesize the information through Scripture and other aspects of knowledge.
Oh…and by the way, before you think it…of course I read books on marriage and being a better husband. It’s just that a lot of it seemed either too old fashioned or too weak in my opinion. A lot has changed in recent times. I honestly felt that a lot of these elders that taught about being a husband were out of season. In other words, they had expired ideas. I felt that women had changed from the women that these elders married 40,50, 60 plus years ago. I felt that these modern women were nothing like the wives of these elders or the women in my mother’s time. I needed to see these “theories” play out in real time with modern women. And little did I know that the Game would prove these Scriptural principles and advice from the elders correct!
Master of the Game…
A few years ago, I was in the break room at my job. My colleagues were watching an old National Geographic’s episode on dvd. This episode had something to do with large cats. Apparently, a guy had been mauled by a big cat a few years prior and he was on the show to confront and get over his fears of big cats. The handler was a female, and she brought out a big black cat for him to meet. She brought the cat to the fellow and allowed the cat to clime on him. He started petting the cat and smiling. Everything seemed to be going ok…or so we thought. He was petting the cat and was at ease. All of a sudden, she pulled the cat off of him by the leash! My colleagues and I were confused at what happened. The fellow was too. He and everyone else asked the handler, what happened? She told them, that the cat’s disposition had suddenly changed and he was about to attack the guy! She said, that the cat sensed his fear…and she was about to maul him!
What’s my point in telling you this story? The female handler was a master of big cats. She understands the nature of cats because it was her business to understand these cats. She sees things that we cannot see, because we are not masters of their nature. I have friends who breed big work dogs. They understand their nature. I have friends who breed and break horses. They are masters in the nature of horses. I have friends who raise cattle….they understand these animals. All of these people, understand these animals, because it’s their business to understand the nature of these animals.
Well, a pimps business is women. He is constantly around women. He tends to have a group of women in his life while he’s in the lifestyle. His business is women. He understands women in a way that the average man can never understand. He can maintain peace amongst the group of women in his stable while regular guys like us can’t even maintain peace in our households with the one woman that we have. If this is his business, why should I take a dating coach or pickup artist’s advice over a former pimp? What is the principle here in all of the examples I just gave? If you want to understand something, find a master of that subject. When it comes to women, the only master in town, is the Pimp. I saw it for myself. Now lets go a little further…
The Game
Every “art”, “society”, or “world” has it’s own language
Being that I’ve been a student of many schools of thought, one thing that I came to the realization of, was that:
What do I mean by this? Well, for example, if you were going to be classically trained in music, you must learn the terms of that “art” to be able to “communicate with and understand” your instructor. If you don’t learn the language, your instructor can’t communicate with you on a higher level of music. Once you finally begin to understand the language, then you can be taught the fundamentals of the art.
Worlds…
What do I mean by worlds (or society)? My context of worlds would be, a society of like minded individuals that live a certain way. And because they are a society, they communicate a certain way and they live by certain rules. They live a certain way and communicate a certain way that outsiders generally don’t understand. Some societies or worlds are:
- law enforcement
- the military
- different branches in the military
- Commissioned officers in the military
- The Masonic world
- Christianity
- Islam
- Judaism
- Hinduism
- Buddhism
- the world of men
- the world of women
- Mafia
- Triads
- Yakuza
- fraternities
- sororities
- Martial art systems
- Gun enthusiasts
- Musicians
- Actors
- Audiophiles
- Medical Field
- etc., etc. etc.
When my sister begins to talk about her day as an ICU nurse, many times I have to remind her to speak “English” because I don’t understand the “medical language”. Yes it’s English, but it’s terms and acronyms-their language, the common person would never understand.
If you’re going to learn photography, it is the same. They have their own jargon…or vocabulary-a language. You have to learn the language first, so that you can “speak” with your teacher and peers in the “language” of photography. If you are a football player or a person learning how to coach, you have to learn the language of this “art” also. If you’re learning basketball, you also have to learn the “language” of basketball.
The World of Karate…
If you’re learning a Japanese martial art, like karate (or should I say an Okinawan art) you have to first learn the “language” of this art. In the arts you must:
- First learn the language of the art
- learn the rules and the “culture” and the history of the art
- learn the Kihon (basic fundamentals) of the art which encompasses: the physical conditioning required for the art and the basic fundamentals that undergird this specific art.
Now concerning language, if you were to study a form of karate, you’d have to begin to learn the language. For example you’d have to learn how to count in Japanese because you will be performing hundreds of repetitions of the basics to ingrain the fundamental movements into your neuromuscular system. Your Sensei (or the senior student) will be calling out the number (of repetitions) that you’re on, as he watches each student to make sure that their forms are correct, according the art.
Numbers in Japanese:
- ichi- 1
- ni-2
- san-3
- shi-4
- go-5
- roku-6
- shichi-7
- hachi-8
- ku-9
- ju-10
The Japanese term for teacher is Sensei. You will refer to him as such. Other terms in this language are:
- Hai!- Yes
- Hajime-start
- Hidari-left
- kihon-basic
- migi-right
- moroto-both hands
- katate-single hand
- ohayo gozaimasu-good morning
- onegaishmasu-Please (assist me)
- sayu-left and right side (perform on both sides)
- Seiretsu-line up in a row
- Katas-basic choreograph movements
- Randori-full contact sparring
- konichiwa-hello: good afternoon; have a good day
- obi-your belt that you wear with your uniform (i.e. green belt, orange belt, brown belt, or black belt)
- uke-to block
- Rei-to bow
- empi uchi – elbow strike
- ashi-foot-
- geri-kick
- hiza-knee
- seiza-kneel
- shuto-knife hand (strike) (aka karate chop)
- sempai- Senior student
- nage- (to) throw
- dan (level)-black belt level
- karate-empty hand
- etc.
Furthermore, target areas to punch, strike, or grab:
- Jodan-upper part of the body
- Chudan-mid level area of the body to strike or grab
- Gedan-lower level of the body
You have to learn the language so that you can understand and communicate with your teacher and your peers. Then after learning the language, you must learn the etiquette of this “world”. Then you begin to learn the ways of this world which include rules and codes. But first, you must learn the language.
Three philosophies of the Game that we will cover…
Well, a world that we will discuss today is an aspect of the underworld in America. It is the world of Pimping and Hoeing. I will cover three concepts of the game today. The three concepts will be the following:
- In the Game, she must choose
- The Game is built on truth
- The Game is to be sold, not to be told
And before you can understand the concepts of this world, you must first learn the language. Let us proceed forward….
To be continued…pt. 2
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