It pays to have sisters and female acquaintances in your life.  You learn so much about women, manhood and the interactions of the sexes.  You really gain a lot, once you’ve been taught the fundamentals of manhood and the nature of  both sexes when it comes to their interactions with each other.  

What do I mean?  Well, when you understand the woman’s nature, a lot of what she’s telling you (or not telling you) will all make sense according to her nature.  Especially in this day and time, where feminism makes a lot of women discard their feminine inclinations for masculine characteristics many times unbeknownst to them.  But nature is always nature.

 

My Big Sister Taught Me A Lesson

A few years ago my big sister taught me a profound principle concerning the romantic interaction between men and women.  As a matter of fact, what she taught me, testified to what my mentor taught me prior.

Anyway, she told me of an encounter that she had with a male.  She told me that since she didn’t go to work that day and the nanny was there to watch her children, she decided to go to the movies by herself in the middle of the afternoon.  As she purchased her snacks from the concession stand, a guy struck up a conversation with her.  He was teasing her and joking with her as he also purchased his snacks.  She immediately realized that he was coming on to her.  She found the fellow attractive so she continued to engage in the back and forth gesture.

After a while, the conversation got awkward as he continued to try to keep things going.  She realized that he wasn’t attempting to “close the deal” by exchanging information. As soon as things got a little quiet, she said, “Well it was nice meeting you.  Enjoy the movie.”  And she walked away.   

I was confused.  I could tell that she found him attractive and he found her attractive.  So I said to her, “Didn’t you find him attractive?”  She responded, “Yes.”   Then I said, “Then why didn’t you give him your number?”  She responded:

“I can’t do his job for him.” 

 I then replied, “Well you knew that he was attempting to approach you and you entertained him.  Why didn’t you just give it to him?”  She replied:

“Moeh, I can’t do his job for him.  I engaged in conversation with him, so it was apparent that I was interested.  He should have closed the deal.  It’s not my job to close the deal. If I do that, it would be a terrible way for us to start the relationship.  If I was the one to initiate closing the deal, then for the rest of the relationship, I would probably be the one to close all deals (conflicts, affection, etc.).  It is a sign of what’s to come.  As a woman, I can’t be with a man who can’t go after what he wants.  As a woman, I can’t be with a man, who’s too cowardly to go after what he wants at the risk of rejection.  I will never do a man’s job.”

 

My Mentor said the same thing prior but from the vantage of a Man

Wow! I was blown!  That was one of the most profound statements that I’ve ever heard!  It was even more profound because a couple of years prior, my mentor had pretty much said the same thing but coming from the other side of reality…the Man’s side…

I was talking to my mentor one day, and I brought up a concept.  I told him that at the time (of the conversation), I understood the concept of being chosen (by a woman), and I was able to identify when it was happening.  My mentor, decided to correct a possible flaw in my view of women.  After his first interjection, I realized that I wasn’t clear on what I was saying.  But as always, he touched on something that I needed to hear, unbeknownst to me.    

Moeh: “…You taught me that:

If you can’t replicate it, you have not mastered it.

In my life, even with meeting my ex at the time, and other women that I’ve met, I had to sit back and analyze those situations.  I really don’t understand what happened, they (the situation) just happened.  And that’s not good, because I can’t replicate it.  Because especially in marriage I needed to be able to replicate this concept.  And because I wasn’t able to replicate it, this was probably another reason why the relationship failed.  I need to be this man  that you talk about.  

Today, I understand the concept of being chosen.  And I understand when it’s happening.  I can now see when there’s an attraction here.  I understand it now.  And a lot of guys don’t get that (understand it).

There is a science going on here, and since I can’t make things happen.  I don’t say, I want that and I make it happen.  No, things usually just happen. “

Dre: “Let me backup a little bit.  Because you said something that another client of mine, a long time ago said because he got it from another coach. The coach knows what he knows  but it’s another level with these females. 

My  client used to say that when he goes into a place, he’s waiting to be chosen.  He’s waiting for a girl to choose him.  You have  got to be a goddamn idiot to wait around to be chosen.  That’s not the characteristics of a man.  When I go somewhere, I’m looking to go on the hunt and conquer.  I’m not looking for someone to choose me.  I’m going to choose somebody.  

I had such a hard time breaking him out of that mindset of waiting to be chosen.  Because that (mindset) puts you into a holding pattern.  It makes you stop.  A man has to be actively engaged in who he is and actively engaged in what he wants.  

Remember when I told you earlier that you have to give a man something to do?  People have to have something to do to affirm who they are.  You can’t be stopped, waiting around for somebody. I’ve never done that.  I’ve never even had the mindset to wait to be chosen.  I’m going to get what I want!  I’m not waiting for someone to choose me!  I don’t even think that way.  It puts you at a disadvantage.

When you said, ” I understand the concept of being chosen”. That rung a bell in my head, that I needed to correct that thought process.  You don’t wait around to be chosen.  Because you’re empowering a woman, Again!  Because you’re saying that she’s so  powerful, that she’s going to choose you.  In other words,  it’s her decision.  Somewhat it is.  People always say that it’s the woman’s decision because when she leaves the house, she’s already decided if she’s going to have sex with someone.  I don’t go into a situation feeling like she’s already chosen to sleep with someone.  I don’t think like that.  I’m such a man about what I do.  I have to have control over my choices.  I’m not waiting for a broad to come up to me and start talking to me to choose me.  I don’t want no forward broad like that! “

Moeh:  “That’s not what I meant though.”

Dre:  “Then what did you mean?”

Moeh: ” Even in nature, one thing I learned from talking with an African Colleague from West Africa (Cameroon), one thing he learned from watching nature, is that no male animal can take anything from a female.  Even a male lion can’t take it from a female lion.   But all male animals in nature show forth their manhood in some way, and then she decides that he’s that one.  And then she lets him take it. “

Dre:  “I think she accepts that he’s chosen her.  You see everything is masculine to me. She accepted my offer. “

Mohe:  “Interesting.  What does that mean?”  

 

Dre: “I’m just saying, the way you’re thinking, you’re still giving power to the woman.  And you’re going to have problems in your relationships if you start like that.  

I’m coming to you and I’m choosing you.  Accept my proposal or don’t!  You accept what I’m bringing to you or you don’t!  But I’m bringing it!  I’m  always on the offense.  I’m never in a defensive posture.  Where someone says’ she has to choose me.”  (Woman)…I chose you , before you chose me!  What do you mean you’re choosing me?  I chose you.  You didn’t even know that I existed.  I’m the one who took the steps to say, ‘I want you.”  Like a caveman…go get your woman!  I’m choosing you.  You understand?  She’s only accepting my choice.  She ain’t choosing me.  Like, ‘You’re the one!’  She didn’t do the pursuing.  If she’s doing the pursuing, ‘I don’t want you.  Because how many other dudes have you pursued? ‘  I want someone that I have to go and capture.  I want someone that I have to go and get.  Make me feel as if you have some value about yourself.  I want something that’s valuable.  I don’t want someone that anybody can have.  Let me go after it.  

That’s the wrong way of thinking.  Don’t think that way. That will put you in a trick bag. “

 

Conclusion

So what can we learn from what my sister and my mentor revealed?  We learn that:

The natural order of things is that a man must pursue the woman that he desires. 

This is masculine energy.  We also learn that

It is in the woman’s nature to desire to be pursued.  

When a woman steps out of her nature, it throws the whole relationship off.  As my sister said, if she has to pursue him, it will be like this throughout the whole relationship. 

Furthermore, what my mentor said about women who pursue was true.  I’ve realized that a woman that will “pursue” you…this is her character when it comes to men.  

If she took charge and approached you, this is how she will always deal with men.  You weren’t special…this is how she usually deals with the opposite sex.  This energy is masculine.  She’s in control. And you have slipped into an effeminate position. 

 What are you waiting for next, her to get down on one knee and propose to your “CANDY ASS”?

Remember, God has created the man to lead in all areas of his life.  He has given you headship.  In the courting phase, he must lead.  And in every part of the relationship, he must lead…even in intimacy. 

Be a man!  Go and get what you want!  If you see her, be a man and go and get what you want.  She has to accept your proposal or not.  So what if she doesn’t accept?  You did your job as a man.  You didn’t take her out of her character.  She remained a woman in the interaction.  And you remained a man.  Everyone is at peace.  The end.

 

And Remember…

 

 BE a Man!