As I drove away, I began to process it more and more, and I began to get even more pissed. But then, after getting angry, I began to be at peace. I started processing the pricey lesson that I had learned from this low-level game. Here’s what I learned and what you can learn from this:

 

1) I didn’t process the details effectively

When I began to reflect on what the lady had told me, I reviewed my logic and looked at the flaws in it. If you live in cities, you’re used to the homeless population and you know how to deal with them. First off, if they ask for money, you know that they are usually attempting to get money to pay for something other than food…an addiction. The addiction can be alcohol, cocaine, crack, heroin, pills, etc. Usually, if you offer food to those same people, they’ll angrily deny you. That’s when you know they wanted something else. They were attempting to play with your heart. 

 

I know this hustle. That was what I was listening for. Was she attempting to finesse me out of money? She never approached me about money. And that was what got me to lower my guard. 

 

Homeless. Given my 20-plus years of living in Washington D.C. as a young adult, I know that the homeless are habitual in their movements. If you live in an area, you can plan to see the same homeless persons in that area (unless it’s a blistering winter). I say this to indicate that I’ve been going to this location for years. My former Captain, being a foodie, told me about this place. I’ve never seen homeless people in that area and I especially never saw this lady before. So, there was no way for me to know her schemes. I really thought that she was in need. Here are the details I missed…

 

It was 80-plus degrees outside. Who in the hell would deny a pregnant woman food after she’d been standing in a parking lot for two hours? Think about it. When I pulled into the parking lot, cars were everywhere. It was Friday. Most women who still take care of their families with home-cooked meals don’t want to cook on Fridays! They’re eating out. And this place cooked its meals from scratch! So, it was always full on Friday evenings. No one bought her food? Now I knew why. This wasn’t her first time pulling this “pregnant stunt.” She got me, and she taught me a lesson: to pay closer attention to the details. 

 

2) Blessings don’t come from them

Many people don’t understand charity. Charity activates a spiritual law. In this creation, there are physical laws and there are spiritual laws. Just as the physical laws are immutable, so, too, are the spiritual laws. 

 

In the Scriptures, God challenges you to outgive Him. He says that giving in charity is like planting a kernel of corn into the ground; that kernel births a plant that grows to produce many ears of corn. And there are over 100 kernels in that one ear of corn. In other words, you can’t outgive God. He challenges you to try to outgive Him. Trust me, you will lose. 

 

The Billionaire and His Charity…

Rich Devos

Back in the ‘90s, the second richest man in America was attempting to give away his four billion dollars. At a seminar, I watched him say that the faster he attempted to give it away, the faster it came back in wheelbarrows (his words). He told us that he was sometimes terrified at how fast it came back. You can’t outgive God. 

 

I can tell you from personal testimony that when I gave in charity consistently, I never had money issues. There was always more than enough. I began having money problems only when I stopped giving to charity. I want you to process that. Let me say it again:

 

 I never had money issues when I consistently gave in charity. There was always more than enough. I began having money problems only when I stopped giving to charity. 

 

Your Blessings Won’t Come From Swindlers…

Once the law of giving is activated, you cannot predict from where the blessing will come. But one thing is for certain: It will come. So, even if you give and you see it misused, you’ve done your part. They have abused God’s grace, THEY WILL GET THEIRS. Furthermore, YOUR BLESSINGS DON’T COME FROM THE PEOPLE OR ORGANIZATION YOU GAVE TO. THEY COME FROM GOD. AND THEY WILL USUALLY COME FROM MANY PLACES THAT YOU DON’T EXPECT. However, once you see the abuse, don’t give anymore. Find somewhere else to give. 

 

3) If you do help, do it this way

A colleague of mine is a pastor. Before Covid, he and his wife would cook and then package food to feed the poor. During Covid, because of the restrictions, he couldn’t do it. I’m sure he’ll be starting again as the restrictions lessen. 

 

However, in the past, because he saw the way the homeless used the money they received (i.e., for alcohol or drugs), he stopped giving money to the poor. He decided that if someone approached him for money, he’d tell them that he’d buy the food himself if they desired it. Do you know what he found when he did this? Many of them would get angry with him and walk away. In other words, they didn’t want the money for “charity”; they wanted it for something else. 

 

4) Mother Teresa’s advice

Mother Teresa

Do you know who Mother Teresa is? Mother Teresa was a Roman Catholic nun who worked with the poor for over 50 years and left over 4500 nuns to complete her work. She was born in 1910 in Albania and died in 1997 in India. She spent most of her life in India, where she established her mission, the Roman Catholic religious congregation. As I said previously, her organization grew to over 4500 nuns and also spread to over 133 countries. Her society helped the poor, including people dying of AIDS/HIV and those with tuberculosis and leprosy. Her society also runs soup kitchens, dispensaries, mobile clinics, children and family counseling programs, orphanages, and schools. Members of her society take a vow of chastity, obedience, and poverty and also profess to give wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor (source: Wiki). After her death, she was given the title of “Saint” due to her great works. 

 

She was a bold woman who spoke her mind. I remember when she spoke her mind at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington D.C. on February 5, 1994. She told President Bill Clinton and Vice President Al Gore that abortion was wrong. Bill Clinton was embarrassed. But that’s the type of woman she was. 

 

The Lesson

But I digress…I remember reading that she was asked a question about giving to a beggar. Basically, she was asked what she would do if someone asked her for money, but there was a chance that the person was not going to use it for food, but for their addictions. She replied that she’d rather take the risk of giving the money in the hope that it was for food than be wrong by not giving it when the person really needed to eat. 

 

That’s deep. She’d rather give and possibly be right than not give and possibly be wrong. This was Mother Teresa’s advice on giving.

 

Conclusion

The lesson I learned from this experience is to pay attention to the details when it comes to people approaching me for money. Never give away money; if they want to eat, buy them food. If they take advantage of the situation, my blessings come from God, not them. I gave with a pure heart, and in the end, they lose. My blessings will come. I can rest at night knowing this. 

 

In part three of this conversation, I will focus on the dark side of being approached or lulled in to help a woman, just to get robbed or injured.

If you enjoyed or learned anything form this article, please subscribe and share.