7 Lessons We Can Learn From The Rajaee Black Shooting Of His Ex-Wife And Girlfriend  Pt. 1

 

Recently during the holidays, I had to thank God for having a job during the pandemic and the holidays.  Many people are still out of work, or are just getting back to work.  

 

The catalyst of me saying this to you is because, throughout my two decades of living in the DMV area, I’ve always seen people fired right before Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I could never understand how someone can fire their employee right before the holidays.  They couldn’t fire this person after the holidays?  Or what about Spring?  What about Summer?  Why, the holidays?  To me, if you value your safety, I would never do this.  Why?  Because they have to go home and tell their family that there won’t be a happy Christmas.  This man has to look in his woman’s and children’s eyes and tell them that not only can he not provide for them, but he can’t even buy them Christmas gifts.  

 

Even if it’s Thanksgiving, he has to go before his family (or her family) and reveal to them that he can’t provide for his family anymore.  And even if he doesn’t say it, they will know.  

 

Going Postal

 

Have you ever heard of someone going “postal”?  Well, in my opinion, I believe that this happens because they feel betrayed.  You took something from them.  You took their security from them.  Have you noticed that it’s usually a man that goes “postal”?  Why?  I believe it’s because he is the maintainer of his household.  So imagine if this man is fired right before thanksgiving or christmas?  Expect “postal” behavior!  

 

Why do I bring this up?  I bring this up to say that the holidays can bring out the best and the worst in people.  I strongly advise you as an employer or person to not mess with people’s livelihood or peace during those months.  It can be fatal.  And this is what I see concerning this domestic triple homicide.  

 

Before Christmas

 

On Saturday December 11, 2021, days before Christmas,  Mr. Rajaee Black did something that he could never take back.  He did something that would forever destroy the psyche of the children that he said he loved.  He did something that would forever destroy the families involved.  He did something that would damage all of the friends and colleagues that knew these people.  He murdered his ex-wife Wendy Black and his ex-girlfriend, Tara Labang.  And then turned the gun on himself.  

 

And before he did it, he went on Facebook Live to reveal what he had premeditated  Here’s the video:

 

(Transcript)

“  I never thought I’d be doing this.  I got to make it quick.  For everybody out there that supported me, who really knows what’s going on, thank you all.  Umm, I’ve been going through a custody battle.  I’ve been going through, having my ex-wife say I molested my children and all kinds of craziness.  I’ve been fighting for custody for three years.  So, shit has been real crazy.  What’s up Oliver?  You know about this.  Um, going through it with my ex-wife.  So I started dating somebody new, and she got pregnant, and um we got in a fight and the first thing she does is threatening that she’s going to do the same thing, ‘You’re never going to see your kids, blah blah blah.  

It’s the holidays man, I don’t have no family, nothing.  Anyway, I just did something crazy.  I just shot my ex-girlfriend in the head yo.  It felt like a dream.  I never thought that I would be that guy.  Um, I can’t go to prison so…the person that really started my depression and all of this is my ex-wife.  So she’s next.  And then I’m going to do it myself too.  

I just wanted to say this to people, don’t play with people’s emotions man.  Don’t lie on these men.  Oh here’s my ex-wife right here.  (he enters through a door) Todays the day!”

 

Background

 

Rajaee Black is a nurse anesthetist in the city of Baltimore,Maryland.  He was once married to Ms. Wendy Natalie Black.  Ms. Natalie Black was also a nurse anesthetist.  They produced two little daughters in that marriage.  Since 2018, both of them have been going through a legal custody battle.  

In the video, he said that he had been accused by his ex-wife of molestation of his children.  So for three years he was not only fighting for custody of his children but also to clear his name of molestation charges.  

 

In court documents, both had filed charges on each other of a domestic violence nature.  Furthermore, all of those charges had been withdrawn or dismissed by the court.  There had been over 3,600 documents filed in the custody battle. 

 

Not seeing his children and fighting to clear his name drove him into a depression.  

 

What apparently sent him over the edge, was his recent ex-girlfriend by the name of Tara Labang, who was also in the medical field was apparently pregnant with his child.  In a heated argument, she told him that she would also make sure that he doesn’t see the child that she’s pregnant with, just like his ex-wife is doing.  

In an interview, a former ex-girlfriend of his who chooses to remain anonymous revealed some things about Mr. Black’s mental state and character.  

 

This ex-girlfriend told WJZ Investigator Mike Hellgreen that they met in March of 2019 and broke up a year later. She revealed that he had serious depression and wouldn’t get help for it.  Even after she told him that he needed it.  

 

 She said she had to break up with him, for her own mental health.  Because she was his only support, his depression began to weigh on her.  Even though she loved him, she had to end it.  

 

In a text she shared, Mr. Black said, “There was a time that I was so low that I didn’t want to live anymore.  It was you that helped me get through it.”  

 

She also attested to his character of never verbally or physically abusing her.  She said:

“Jay never cursed me.  He never raised his voice at me.  He always told me because of what I was in a previous relationship of being abused that he would never hurt me.  That’s what he said to me.”

 

But according to court records, His ex-wife filed for protective orders.  Just last year she wrote, “I am terrified because I do not know what he’s capable of doing to me and the girls.  I do not feel that we are safe.  I do not feel safe at all.  I feel that my life is in danger.”  

 

The catalyst of the argument between him and his pregnant girlfriend Tara finally took him over the edge.  And on Saturday, December 11, 2021 he went to his ex-girlfriend’s house and shot her in the head.  He then traveled to his ex-wife’s home, with the plan to kill her too.  

 

While driving to her house, Mr. Black had his daughters in the car!  He also got on FaceBook Live to reveal what he was going to do!  After telling the world what he was going to do, he saw his ex-wife and approached her to kill her.  He murdered her and then killed himself.  With his children in the car! 

 

The 7 Lessons We Can Learn From This

 

1)Learn to recognize when you’re in toxic relationships and remove yourself from them.

 

Many of us are so used to toxic environments that we don’t even realize when we’re in one.  Toxic relationships can be in romantic relationships, jobs, friends, siblings, and even with your parents.  

 

What’s the best sign of a toxic relationship?  A lack of peace.  Your peace.  Hell, you can be toxic!  A toxic relationship is miserable.  There is always contention and negativity.  Don’t allow yourself to get sucked in a vortex of drama and b.s.  

 

You must find your peace.  Recognize it.  And don’t let anyone disrupt it.  You can’t allow yourself to be people’s emotional punching bag.  Your peace is worth everything.  

 

Personally, the only people that I’d let bring drama into my life are the children that I create or the nephews, nieces and other children who are under my authority.

 

I learned late in life this lesson.  I wish I had been taught this earlier.  I am at peace.  And I am ruthless about my peace.  And any woman that I permit into my life is warned about this at the beginning.  And some have been removed because they began to tamper with my peace.  

 

Furthermore, remember when I said that you can be toxic?  Listen to people around you.  If you begin to notice that no one wants to be around you or that people are calling you toxic, then you may be toxic.  And if you wish to change, you may have to get some help to change.  Some people are so toxic that their children grow up and leave them alone!